April Meditation 2017

Last Updated on September 2, 2022 by Website Committee

“We were created to learn by many avenues, including that of making mistakes. That is why the perfectionism engendered by our disease was so disastrous for us, because it denied our essential humanity and, in doing so, cast us completely out of touch with ourselves. The truth is that to be perfectly human we must be imperfect, we must make mistakes.”

Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, p. 122.

From the time I was thirteen years old, a big part of my eating disorder was about trying to get things “right.” Trying to get my body to be at the “right” weight (and keep it there). Trying to get my emotions to feel the “right” amount of calm and happiness (and keep them there). Trying to get others to “behave right” (and keep them there). No wonder I was a nervous wreck! My body, my mind, my life, could never be “right” enough for me to stop trying to control them. I always had a job to do.

After a few years of working the Twelve Steps in ABA, I gave myself permission to stop pretending to be the “General Manager of the Universe.” Each week my sponsor kindly reminds me that acceptance means leaving the results, even of my mistakes, up to God. If I argue with this concept, I suffer. In the end, the results of each day are God’s business and not mine. The more I surrender to God each day, the happier I become.

Thought for the Day

Am I willing, just for today, to let God be my Manager?

Submitted by Amita S.
Copyright © 2017 by Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous

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